Women often become illogical optimists when it comes to men. Once we like someone, we lose perspective and start believing, “He’ll change once he sees how good we are together.” While some men may want to improve for love, most prefer acceptance as they are. Whether his flaw is arrogance, fear of commitment, or immaturity, he’ll only change if he chooses to. Before investing your heart, ask yourself if you can truly accept him exactly as he is right now.

The thing most women think they can change in a man is his unwillingness to commit. Everything seems perfect—chemistry, shared goals, deep connection. Then he says he isn’t looking for a relationship, but you think, “He’ll come around.” He won’t. Men don’t lie about not wanting commitment—it gains them nothing. If you’re serious about settling down, take him at his word and move on. Be grateful for knowing the truth early instead of wasting precious time hoping otherwise.

It’s baffling when women complain about the same issues their partner had from day one. If your man was bad with money or temperamental before, expecting a transformation later is unrealistic. Many women spot flaws and still convince themselves love will fix them. Maybe he even says he’ll change—but believe it only when actions prove it. Words are easy; effort is rare. If his habits or character truly bother you, accept them or walk away—but don’t stay and pretend to be surprised later.

Small habits, though, are different. Things like chewing with his mouth open or leaving the toilet seat up shouldn’t end a relationship, but his response when you ask for compromise reveals much. Love thrives on respect and willingness to meet halfway. Still, you must ask yourself: could you stay happy if he never changed a thing? Because most men don’t—unless they’re still in diapers. If your expectations are fair but unmet, let him go and wait for someone already right for you.